Thursday, 8 July 2010

:: getting personal ::

I have toyed with doing this post since last week.
I have written and deleted it twice.

For the last 3 years I have build my little nest on the internet. I have this blog, Etsy shops, a website, and tweet and use facebook. I love sharing my creations, current projects and interesting finds. But I have really struggled to get personal. I didn't want pictures of myself on my blog and I sure as hell didn't want people tagging me in snaps on FB!

A couple of weeks ago I had the honour of being asked to do an interview for Chantilly at Mygirlthursday. I had great fun answering her questions and taking studio shots, all be it I had to tidy the place first. But when it came to my portrait I struggled, really struggled. Eventually after my best friend and MrLB took about 100 pics, I settled for one.

I am not vain, far from it, but when I looked at the pictures I felt so sad. Sad that the girl captured on the screen was not the girl I saw everyday in the mirror. So after a teary night and a pick me up chat from a good friend I decided on a CHANGE.

Here is the photo. And now when I look at it I don't feel so sad. I feel greatful for the chance to change. I don't want to grow my hair, change my nose or get my teeth fixed. (In fact I love my teeth!) The cut and dry of it is that I want to get fit and loose these chubby cheeks and double chin!

Please don't click away. I promise that this blog will not become me whinging about diets and calorie counting. For me, neither of them work, never had, never will. Nor am I going to throw myself into some crazy celebrety fitness plan. (I did love doing Cindy Crawford's dvd when I was 17, but a lot has changed since then!)

No, I am going to walk. Nothing fancy, just walk. I have the gift of two boystrous pooches in my life so what better way to get fit then stride out with them. I found a really cool site that has a 6 week walking program to build me up and get me going, so I am quite excited. So far since the evening after my photo upset I got a buddy and we headed around the local rugby fields.

So here, in black and white I am commiting to the 6 week programme. I will update :: getting personal :: on the

19th of August

with a progress report and a new photo. Another really interesting revelation to come from this is how much I love photographing all sorts of things, but feel sick when I need to get my own taken. So I'm going to start a little project over on searchingforspaces and take a photo a day of myself, as a kind of therapy!

I hope this isn't too much information, too dull or too serious. Bare with me :)

4 comments:

Laura Cameron said...

Hope you enjoy the walking buzz!

whitney-anne said...

You look like a sweetie in that picture but I can completely identify with how you're feeling. Years of illness have meant I couldn't exercise and now I'm overweight. Hitting 50 this year hasn't helped either!! But I'm out walking around the block every evening - all I can manage without causing too much pain. Walking is way better than dieting too, gives you time to think apart from anything else! Dieting makes the body think you are starving and once you stop it converts all your food into fat to guard against the starvation thing.
You keep on with what you're doing, it sounds so positive. I'm sure it will help me keep on with mine too!!

Sylvia C. said...

I just love you, Laura.

I love your honesty and your determination.

And, I love that you said that your blog is not going to turn into a calorie counting one (whew! close call! ;)


If the weather gets bad, you should try one of Leslie Sansone's walking videos.
She is very positive, and gets the blood pumping!

I will be sending good thoughts your way!

xoxo
Sylvia

Laura Bray said...

Sweet one, you are lovely. I know how you feel though-there's a reason I only show tiny clips of my face! I am overwhelmed by what I let myself become and am also on a plan to get healthy again. If you need to chat, please email me-maybe we can support one another. If you go at this like anything else I've seen you accomplish you will surely succeed.